Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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