Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
