Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
