i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
