just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wear drunk well.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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