at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
