dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
