My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
