the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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