i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
