hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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