he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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