Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
