Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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