all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
