when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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