There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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