Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Even my vagina gasped.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
