so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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