your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
