wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
