i think i have herpe
just one?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
