I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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