Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
