i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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