Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
