You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
