When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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