Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
