WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
