whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
