Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
