I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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