Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
