I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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