yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize
