Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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