And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
