I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
