if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
