a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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