Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My balls are so social today.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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