Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
