you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
