I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
