you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
where am i from again
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
