theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
