He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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