Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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