his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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